So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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