look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
