Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
