She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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