my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
