Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
