how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
