from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
