I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize