Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
