After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can I color on your dick again?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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