Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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