That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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