He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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