this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
