This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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