glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
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I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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