were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize