I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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