I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
