Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
