Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
