would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
