I seem to have left my pride at pride
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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