I wish they made helmets for livers.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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