I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Pants are for mortals
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
