Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
