He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
