Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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