a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
