is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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