this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have post one night stand depression
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