sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize