Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
