New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
