I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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