We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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