I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
They have beer where we have blood.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
