Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
