puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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