I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
