I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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