it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
