I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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