She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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