mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
