We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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