If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
