It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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