Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize