Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
