I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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