Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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