Sry I called you an 8
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
