Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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