ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
