if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize