I think I am morally bankrupt
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
