That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
