no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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