This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
