ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
