its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
