just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
