why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
