I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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