dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
